a totally random one

Hello!

I am in the mood to share with you lovelies my thoughts.

This morning I woke up determined to shun sugar. I did SO GOOD until the girls went down for naps about an hour ago. Then, I ate the last three truffles (which as SO MUCH BETTER after sitting overnight, by the way) as well as the last three cookies I've made yesterday and a few days ago, respectively. The truffles were SO GOOD and the cookies were not. Too old I think. Anyway, I'm not hating on myself, though, because since my miscarriage, I've decided that when I want sugar, I'll fight the urge off. But when I WANT SUGAR, I'll let myself have some sugar. Now, three truffles and three cookies is too much, yes. But I've decided that as long as I'm not gorging myself CONSTANTLY like I did while I was pregnant (at least with unhealthy foods) I'm okay. I've lost 10 pounds since I miscarried, which brings me back down to where I was before I got pregnant. I still have 40 pounds to lose to get to my ultimate goal weight (30 to get to my ideal/high school graduation weight) but it's totally doable. Especially since at my 185 lb tag Trenton's going to take me to the Melting Pot, a restaurant I've wanted to go to for YEARS and years, and EVEN BETTER - when I reach 169 (I wanted it to be 160, Trenton wanted it to be 170, I said no, he said, okay, once you hit the 160s then, and I said okay) Anyway when I get to 169, Trenton's going to take me to HAWAII! I know right,? How am I not being SO GOOD at omitting sugar and burning calories like a mad woman? Well, the answer is - I don't have a very good appreciation for long term results. Also, I AM burning calories like crazy, for me anyway :) I've found a TON of arm, leg, ab, and full body workouts that take less than 10 minutes each that I usually do a few of throughout the day. There's a leg toning one that I've been doing everysingleday since I discovered it, which was about 3 weeks ago now, and it's totally toning my legs. They're still totally chubbed out and not how I'd like them to be for forever, but they're slimmer than they were 3 weeks ago. I should have measured when I started so I could actually know what results I was getting. But that's okay. AND I jog about 5 or 6 miles a week, usually a mile every week day and sometimes on Saturdays. Sometimes I even do that jog while pushing the girls in the jogger, which let me tell you is a KILLER - it adds SO MUCH to the workout of jogging, I actually hate it. I didn't mind it when Mackenzi was like, 10 pounds lighter, and Brooklin was 3-5 pounds lighter, but it's SO HARD since the babies keep growing :) If you want to give it a try, I'd be glad to let you! You'd think since they're on wheels it wouldn't be THAT bad, but I'm not kidding you, it works my lungs MUCH more than just jogging.

Ah, the ramblings I ramble on about.

I was at a funeral the other day, and for the closing song we sang "God be with you till we meet again" and I couldn't make it past the 2nd verse. I missed my little baby #3 SO MUCH, and it made me wonder if I'm as "over it" as much as I thought. It also made me wonder if we could have had a funeral, even though no body really got to know that little one, so it wouldn't really be the same. It kind of made me jealous of people who DO get to have funerals for their loved ones. Silly, right? It also made me SO SAD that I wasn't better prepared about what to do with that little baby once I was holding them in my hands. My heart just BREAKS for those moms who go through similar situations. And I know that Heavenly Father will be able to resurrect that tiny little body (will it be resurrected as an infant? or as an adult?) even if it's jumbled up with the biohazard waste that it is, somewhere. He knows where that baby's body is. I am SO annoyed at my doctor and the doctor's nurse for not preparing me, at least with pamphlets or something, for what to do with the baby, instead of just saying that the baby wouldn't be discernible from the other "stuff". I don't really like that I'm not at peace with the doctor, and I keep finding myself wanting to write him a letter, or even call and have them leave a message for him. I feel like the longer I wait, the sillier it will be for me to do so. I do, at least, want to let him know about the whole "you won't be able to see a baby" thing, as well as the whole "we'll send your baby to pathology" and then "opting not to" thing, without consulting with me. I think he should at least know how those two things are unacceptable.

For those of you who don't know, I LOVE BOOKS. That being said, I am not a book expert in ANY way. I'm not very good at discussing books, because I tend to just read the book and enjoy the story, as opposed to analyzing everything including the color of shoes the main character wears (do they even ever tell us the color of their shoes?) anyway before I start babbling TOO MUCH, I'd like to know what your favorite books are. Classics? Mystery? Fiction? Young adult? Non-fiction? Historical fiction? Favorite text book, even?

I joined a book club this last year, and am LOVING it. Because of it, I have read my FIRST EVER classics. I think. I don't remember what books I read in highschool, because most of the time I'd skim them or read summaries online. Lame, I know. Anyway, I've read Frankenstein and Les Miserables - and ....I LOVED them both! Okay, so Frankenstein was TOTALLY different than what I thought it would be, and I think that's part of why i loved it so much. Les Mis was also TOTALLY different than what I thought, but I loved it like, in spite of that, if that makes sense. I want to read more, and I'm taking suggestions.

My most recent loves are: The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, which we're reading for this months book club. It's historical fiction - set in Seattle, dealing with the Chinese and Japanese relationships during the second world war, and the Japanese internment camps that the US deemed necessary at that time. It was a great read, a lovely love story, and I want to read more books like it.

Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr (though not as much as the first two) and now Inheritance. I LOVE this series. I've heard a lot about it over the years, and picked it up when I was down in AZ for Jessica's wedding (I needed something to read for the plane ride home) and as soon as I finished the first book, I couldn't WAIT to get my hands on the others. I think they would be categorized under fantasy/young adult fiction. Does any one know if Christopher Paolini (author) is LDS?

The Help - if you haven't read it, do it! If you've seen the movie and feel like you don't need to read it, do it anyway. The movie was VERY well done, but the book is always better! This is certainly the case with this book.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy - the movie is rated R, and I totally expected that when I heard they were making a movie after I'd read the books. So, lots of F bombs among other cussies, lots of immorality and lots of violence. Totally an "R" book, buuuut, if you're okay with skimming/skipping those parts, I LOVED the story. It really made me want to know what everyone's life story is. Like, the girl who is all tattooed and scary looking is STILL a person with a history and a future. Not just someone who thinks they're badarse. :)  I liked the mystery, and I loved the outcome. I loved that the main character wanted justice for all - albeit not always through a moral standard that I agree with, but still.

I wish the library kept a record of what books a patron has checked out over the years, because I know there are books I've read even in these last two months that I've LOVED but I can't for the life of me recall their names, or even what they were about. I should be better at updating Goodreads :)

My back is killing me, I need to stretch or lie down. Who wants to become a chiropractor and ease my pains pro-bono? Thanks friend, I appreciate it :)