The Ordain Women Movement

I would like to post about something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I intend to do so in a way that expresses how I feel, and not so much what is exactly correct. If I'm incorrect in any of my assumptions about the church or those who are part of the ordain women movement, feel free to correct me in the comment section!

I don't even remember how I heard about the Ordain Women movement, but I do remember my first reaction.

It was something along the lines of "What?! Are these people cray cray?" I read through a few of the profiles that they share of individuals in the movement, because I wanted to see what they had to say for themselves. What are these people thinking? And, what exactly are the asking for?

I did a little research, and discovered that they're asking for exactly what you would think they're asking for, upon reading the name of their organization. They're asking for the Prophet to ask the Savior if they can receive the priesthood. They feel that they are ready and willing to accept the privileges and responsibilities of a priesthood holder. They feel that they are equal to men (they're right) and that that means that they should have the same privileges as men.

My second response to their movement, after researching them a little bit was, "ARE THEY CRAZY?" Same response as before, right? But this time, I was thinking - WHY would they want to seek for MORE responsibilities than they currently have? What are they trying to prove? That they can take on the whole world? I can't even master being a stay at home mom, visiting teaching, and my other callings I have or have had. What? They want MORE on their plate? Also, I couldn't help but think, well, if they want to share in the responsibilities of holding the priesthood, then perhaps women can share in the responsibilities of child labor and delivery. Those things doesn't necessarily go hand in hand, but it's what I thought.

After my first encounter and subsequent research of the Ordain Women movement - I found it was on my mind a lot. It made me uncomfortable. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought, well hey - what is this really all about? I wanted to understand where they were coming from, and some of them say that they have received answers to personal prayers that they are doing what is right, that they are asking for something that is meant to be.

I do agree that there's nothing wrong with asking.

Seek and ye shall find, ask and it shall be opened unto you - etc etc.

The more I thought about it, the more I found myself becoming sympathetic to these women.

And then I discovered that they were going to try and get tickets to attend the priesthood session of conference.

This was something that, honestly, if I was in the Salt Lake area, I might have done. I remember being a youth, and having a crush on a boy, and wanting to be around that boy at every opportunity. I casually brought up with my parents going to watch the broadcast of the priesthood session at the Stake Center, and they very uncasually said that that wasn't possible.

I didn't want to go to the priesthood session for the right reasons, but regardless I was kind of hurt at the answer. Yes, I wouldn't get to see my crush, whatever, but I was like - WHAT do you do in there that's so forbidden? Why can't I watch? I remember asking those same questions to both my parents and later to Trenton over the last 15 years. I always wondered, what's the big deal? Do you guys do secret sacrifices or something?

I remember recently my dad telling me that a woman who had entered quietly into the sacrament room to watch the broadcast had been asked to leave. I think he thought I would appreciate the serious nature of the idea of that particular session being for men only, but it disgusted me.

Those talks that we, as women, were forbidden from watching are printed along with all of the other general conference talks, so are we allowed to read them? I literally thought I shouldn't read them. I remember asking quite seriously whether I was allowed to read them or not. My answer was of course you can read  them, and you should! There's information in there that can apply to every member!

Okay, that didn't make me feel better, but in fact confused me even more. Uh, then SERIOUSLY why can't I go to watch the broadcast? Men attend both the YW and RS general broadcasts, how unfair is that?

These questions would bug me for that day, but I would soon forget about them and move on with life, until 6 months later when the questions came to my mind again (I didn't always vocalize them, but I definitely always thought about them). I haven't really DWELT on those questions until the month leading up to this most recent General Conference.

As I listened to General Conference this past weekend, I was listening with the ears of a woman who was interested in what the leaders of the church had to say about the Ordain Women project, or movement, or whatever.

I found myself surprised by how passive aggressive the responses were to the pleas of the women of the OW project. I would think to myself, huh, I wonder what miss Kelly is thinking about THAT?

I wanted to get my hands on the talks themselves so I could scour them for any hint that they felt the women just needed to be patient and the desires of their hearts would be fulfilled. But I didn't ever hear or read anything along those lines.

All along I would voice my opinions and concerns and questions to Trenton, and he patiently would listen and give a non-threatening response. I would talk to my mom about her opinions on the topic, and wasn't surprised with her answer of "not feeling the need to question things that we don't know the answers to".

The more I thought about it, the more I found myself getting irritated at the church. I would read parts of someones talk from this past weekend, and know that a certain phrase was directed at these women who want to hold the priesthood - and it would be an offering of an explanation as to why they don't have the priesthood, but what it sounded like was another unanswered question.

My favorite of these phrases was from Elder Anderson (I think) when he mentioned those who hold the priesthood are merely opening the curtains for the sunlight to be let in, and that ALL can feel the warmth of the sunlight. This made me think, well, uh, then why CAN'T we ALL open the curtains? When he put it that simply, I could totally see what these women are seeing.

After pondering the aforementioned paragraph from Elder Anderson's talk for a couple of days, I received some insight, that I think was my own personal revelation regarding the matter of women and the priesthood. Whether it is right, or whether it's just what I needed to "hear" to bring my peace concerning the women and the priesthood, I don't know. But, this is what I thought. I thought of President Miles' talk from the adult session of the most recent stake conference, about trees. I don't remember much about what he actually  talked about, but I remember he talked about trees. That made me think of the two trees from the Garden of Eden, and how each tree was unique and separate and distinct, but that each was equally important and essential for our salvation. It helped me to realize that it's okay that I don't have the priesthood (I don't want it anyway!) and that there's a reason for how things are the way they are, even if I don't know that reason.

If the prophet announced tomorrow that it is the will of Heavenly Father for women to be holders of the priesthood, I would think that was daunting, but awesome. But that's now how it is.

My point is, I sustain President Monson as the Prophet of the Lord's church here on earth. I know that, like our Savior, he loves all of us and wants us all to be successful and happy and most of all he wants us to do our duties as disciples of Jesus Christ so that when we return to the place from whence we came, we will inherit all that is ours to inherit. We will be heirs to the Kingdom of God. We will become like God, and we will understand all these things that we don't understand, and we will be happy with our lives and with the outcome.

I'm a questioner. I have simple but strong faith. I still don't understand why women can't sit with men while they watch the broadcast of the priesthood session, but  I know above all else, that if I don't receive and answer to a question that's not essential to my salvation, it won't effect my knowledge of the existence of a loving Heavenly Father and of our Savior, Jesus Christ. In other words, it just doesn't matter. It's a little silly, to me, but it doesn't matter.

I sincerely hope that everybody, no matter what it is they're struggling with (drugs, swearing, wishing they had the priesthood, being unkind, porn - WHATEVER they're struggling with) that they will have a strong enough testimony to trust in the Lord, and to lean not unto their own understanding. To allow the Savior to help them in their struggles, whether those are intellectual struggles or physical.

I do believe in personal revelation. I do NOT believe in a group of people receiving revelation for the church. That's the job of the Prophet and his Apostles.

I know that Christ is at the head of this church, but I don't know why He's chosen to organize it the way He has. I don't need to know. It's not essential to my salvation!

I'm not sure why I want to publish my journey through the Ordain Women movement, except that I want it to be recorded - and possibly hope that my thoughts might help someone, in some way. Also, the thought of writing ALL this down in my journal made my hand ache without even picking up the pen. :)